If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
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you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
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Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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