Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
