so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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