Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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