We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
