Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Randomize
