I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize