C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
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