I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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