ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize