First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
