It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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