Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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