I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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