so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
