Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
