Where did you get a picture of my penis
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
