I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Someone signed my nipple.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
