May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
