you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I still have a little drunk in my system
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize