Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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