Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
