she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize