dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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