Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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