You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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