she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
