there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
