Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I will be naked everywhere
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
