I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
if i died would you start the facebook group?
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Randomize
