Christians are straight up FREAKS
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
