so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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