Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
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i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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