just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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