I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
