i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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