This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
