pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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