you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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