Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
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His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
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