you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Panties = found
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
