id be glad to
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
