sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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