How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
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