you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
