I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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