dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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