Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
