She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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