IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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