I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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