i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
