are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
