I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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