Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
