It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
