I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
then he tried to convert me to islam
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize
