I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
