im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
