Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
