no, he came in my armpit
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
