Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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