at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
