there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
