One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
