we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I need to sanitize my soul.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize