Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
