You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Fuck me I smell like cheese
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
