I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
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