new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
